This is not to be confused with the Drew Tolbert (dot) com fact page. However, this is what the internet might actually look like if Drew Tolbert would have been discovered BEFORE Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris Drew Tolbert Facts
1. Drew Tolbert has been to Mars…. that is why there are no signs of life.
2. When the Boogey man goes to sleep at night he checks for Drew Tolbert under his bed.
3. Drew Tolbert doesn’t sleep… he waits.
4. Drew Tolbert doesn’t wear a watch… he decides what time it is.
5. Google won’t search for Drew Tolbert…. Because Drew Tolbert finds you.
6. Drew Tolbert knows the last digit of Pi.
7. Drew Tolbert always wins at Tic-Tac-Toe
8. Drew Tolbert’s best score in golf was 1.
9. James Bond was trained by Drew Tolbert, as his butler.
10. Drew Tolbert scored 1600 on his ACT
11. Drew Tolbert’s stare turned Medusa to stone.
12. Drew Tolbert swam in the ocean once…. scientists believe this occurrence was the source of all waves ever created.
13. Drew Tolbert got sweaty once, this single event caused global warming.
14. Drew Tolbert doesn’t stop at red lights, red lights stop at him.
15. The only time Drew Tolbert has ever failed was when he ran a marathon on his hands, so he could see what second place felt like… he placed first.
16. Drew Tolbert is actually the winner of the Platinum medal in every Olympic sport. The gold medal is reserved for the 1st runner-up.
17. Drew Tolbert always knows where Carmen San Diego is.
18. Drew Tolbert framed Roger Rabbit.
19. Drew Tolbert is the witness protection program.
20. Socrates said, “Death may be the greatest of all human blessings” after he met Drew Tolbert.
21. Drew Tolbert’s GPS asks him for directions.
22. When Google doesn’t know the answer it drewtolberts it.
23. Drew Tolbert is the only major league pitcher to pitch a perfect game by throwing out the opening pitch.
24. Drew Tolbert is the only NASCAR driver to win the cup without a car.
25. In 1916, Drew Tolbert played one game of college football for Georgia Tech. (follow the link if you don’t get it)
26. The pizza delivery guy tips Drew Tolbert.
27. Drew Tolbert rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
28. Drew Tolbert became a professional wrestler for the WWF, everyone quit and formed the WWE.
29. Drew Tolbert dove into the Niagara river once… this is how Niagara Falls was created. It was so enjoyable he swam up the falls and it again.
30. The Inuit Tribe has 100 words for snow, but only two to describe fear…. Drew Tolbert.
Thanks for reading